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On T

On Trust

Therapist: Do you know why you’re here?

Me: *squints* You tell me.

Therapist: Well, Susan, your file here says that you have extreme trust issues, a condition we call Pistanthrophobia. Is this true?

Me: May, may not be. How do I even know you’re really a therapist?

Therapist: I’ll take that as a yes. Well, here’s my ID card, that’s how far I can convince you. But Susan, I’ll like to know when these trust issues started. What do you think triggered it?

Susan: This Life. 

Therapist: Hmm… 

Susan: This Life, the Wale Adenuga show. Remember the advert? When the father asked and convinced the son to jump and promised to catch him? And then the son jumped and the father legit stepped aside so the boy would fall and break his leg? That was too deep for my frail mind. And I guess I couldn’t handle it.’ 
On Tom-Tom

I don’t know whether my parents planned this life-long torture when they decided to name me Thomas, but they sure set me up!

If you ever meet me, you’ll probably have chills running down your spine the whole time because I’m a blend of albino and melanin skin. I have patches of dark skin on my albino face… It’s a whole lot to take in.

Anyway, people call me ‘Tom-Tom’, and whenever I get angry at them for hinting at my two-coloured face, they’d smile innocently and say ‘But your name is Thomas’
On Timing

If the food tastes weird because the thyme was put at the wrong time. Is that wrong thyming or wrong timing? 
On Triangle 

Before you give up on anything at all, you must try three times‘ said the sagacious Bolanle.

Why?’ I replied eager to hear her response. 

Well, because the mathematicians have already made it easy for you. They created a try angle to our situations. That is, no matter how you view your situation, there’s always the angle where you try. And you can’t try on lesser than 3 sides or with lesser than 3 points’


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