Tooting My Horn

Prompt:

Jan 16

Toot Your Horn

Most of us are excellent at being self-deprecating, and are not so good at the opposite. Tell us your favourite thing about yourself.

CAUTION: This is not fiction.

My name is Adeboro and I am growing.

I have sat to think deeply about this prompt. I have looked at myself, from my physical appearance, to the my complex-simple mind, to my intellectual attributes, my spiritual yearnings and whatnot, and I have concluded that the thing I love the most about myself is the fact that I am growing.

I have learned, overtime, that the best and happiest people on earth are those who do not try to be like anyone else. Trust me when I say that I have tried it – to be like other people. It’s so easy to look at the lives, dreams, aspirations and experiences of other people and crave for them. I have been there and have discovered that there can be no vacuum in life; the place where all your personal dreams, passions and aspirations are meant to be will be filled up with depression, low-self esteem and bitterness whenever you try to live another’s life.

I have had moments when I looked at another girl or person and just thought, ‘If only I looked like that’ or ‘If only that was my boyfriend’ or ‘If only I were that smart or talented’ or ‘if only my family had that much money’ and so on. In fact, I would be honest and admit that these moments have matured from just moments to actual feelings of covetousness and self-hate. It’s amazing that most of the things we covet in other people are not necessarily things we need in our lives, they are just things that look good in that person’s life which we think would also look good in our lives. For instance, I can bet with myself that I wouldn’t have accepted to date any of those ‘boyfriends’ I used to covet.

However, this girl is now growing! I am not only discovering the person that I am, I am enjoying that person. I have embraced my person and I am working to improve my strengths and correct my weaknesses; to focus on my positives and discourage my negatives. I am trying new things – some I love, some I do not love. And although it is hard, I’m learning to forgive myself for my past mistakes and even those I make daily. I am learning to have confidence in my voice – to not only believe that people want to hear it, but that they need to hear it. I am learning to be mature – to know not to say, do, feel, want, inquire into EVERYTHING just because I feel like. I am learning to respect others and their feelings- to give people the space they need and to understand that they are not perfect also. I am learning to accept love and to love – truly, madly and deeply. I am learning that there, indeed, is a time for everything.

I still need to grow some more – I need to bridle my tongue more, to be more true to myself and to God, to understand people better, to be more patient and genuine, to be more disciplined and hardworking, to be more generous and less tight-fisted, to be a woman of my words, not to take people for granted, to be more intentional about my thoughts and words, to be more sensitive, to be more proactive, nicer and more open, to have more fun and do away with unnecessary inhibitions. And so on!

One of the most beautiful things about growing in the comfort of your own skin? You attract the right kind of people for you! Your relationships become beautifully mutual, your aspirations are exciting rather than depressing, your sleep at night is sweeter and your failures are not as terrible anymore.

Sometimes, I think of all my shortcomings and my ‘unfinishness-es’ and sigh. It can really be frustrating when you compare the picture of who you want to be with the picture of who you presently are and all you see is a really wide and seemingly unbridgeable gap. Whenever, however, I think like that, I am reminded that in simply yearning to grow, one is growing.

And so my name is Adeboro, and I am growing.